When The Fat Chat Sings
by Diana Raven
Summary: I'm sorry I just couldn't get Chat Noir singing Bop To The Top out of my head so here it is :)
The Singer filled the auditorium will beautiful music. The stage was his and the spotlight made his sparkling coat shine blindingly. Chat Noir and Ladybug stood in the catwalk ("-you could walk on this Chat all you want-" and yes, he winked), leaning over the rails at the akumatized theatre singer. He'd been scheduled to sing at this theatre but Jagged Stone came into town and he was bumped—this caused his akumatization.

The seats were filled with rapt listeners, bystanders that had been magicked into being there. The Singer finished the last bar of his song and the crowd erupted in cheers. "So my Lady, encore?" Chat asked with a smile.

Ladybug shook her head. "Nah, I think his singing falls a little flat." She stood on the rail of the catwalk and began swinging her yoyo. Chat Noir watched as the love of his life jumped from the metal runway to the stage, yoyo spinning.

"Doesn't look like there's going to be a second show Singer!" She quipped at him.

The Singer glared at her, bringing his portable microphone closer to his mouth. "Alright my fans! _Buddy you're a boy make a big noise, playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day_ -" The magicked crowd stomped ominously towards Ladybug, her yoyo began to glow as it spun. _Crap crap crap_ … Chat climbed onto the railing and pounced on the zombie-like advancing crowd. The zombie-theatregoers around him turned their attentions on him and tried to launch themselves at him.

"Calm down! Calm down! There's enough of me to go around." Chat said as he twirled his staff, blocking their advances.

" _Mud on yo' face, you big disgrace, kickin' your can all over the place_ -"

"Chat!" Ladybug shouted as she fought off magicked bystanders. "Grab the microphone!"

"I really wished that was an innuendo, my Lady!" Chat replied. He sprung up and over the hordes of swarming zombies. He landed gracefully on the stage and swiped the microphone from the Singer who gasped dramatically. But the hordes of magicked people kept coming.

"Now what do I do?"

"Sing you idiot cat! _Sing_!" Ladybug shouted as she fought off the mayor and a cop.

In a split second Chat didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to sing. Paris was going to end in concertos and loud operas and all because Chat couldn't think of a song to sing when his princess was in trouble. Then, like a beautiful strike of inspiration, it came to him.

"Chat!" Ladybug called out once more, scrambling out from under the mayor.

Chat Noir took a deep breath and ducked the Singer and his trying to get the microphone- the akuma itself was in the man's top hat. " _Mucho gusto_ ,"

The zombies stopped and stared at Chat, unsure of which singer to listen to—the akumatized man or the kwamitized teenager. " _Hey que fabulousa_ ,"

Everyone froze in their tracks and stared at Chat while he sang. Well, they came here for a show (under sway or not) so he'd give them one (and his Lady!).

"How-how dare you defile this historical theatre with such garbage!" The Singer cried. Ladybug's open mouthed, wide eyed, frozen stance as she stared at Chat was abruptly shattered as she saw a good opportunity to attack the Singer. Inside Chat Noir deflated a bit as his Lady attacked the one attacking Paris—the woes of being in love with a superheroine.

But his princess wanted him to sing, so sing he would. " _Rrrr! Aye aye aye! Ahhh-riba!_ " He swayed his hips, his tail swishing around himself.

He flashed a smirk at the audience, " _Quieres bailar? Mirame._ " He winked at the crowd and someone screamed in an all too familiar high-pitched-fan-scream. He sashayed down the stage. " _I believe in dreamin', shootin' for the stars, baby to be number one, you've got to raise the bars!_ "

"Really? This song?" Ladybug asked as she tried to snatch the top hat from the Singer.

Chat Noir just winked at her, she rolled her eyes. " _Kickin' and a scratchin'_ ," he clawed at the air, eliciting another eye roll from his Princess, " _grinding out my best,_ " he swished his hips and smirked at the crowd again, more screaming and the zombies had started dancing to the beat. " _Anything it takes to climb, the ladder of suc-sess!_ " He grabbed Ladybug out of the air as she went sailing over his head. He grinned, pulling her close to him. For a moment he thought he could see her blush. He'd love to see her blush (he'd love to be the cause) and be sure of it because her mask would be off. But he could wait. He could always wait for her.

He spun her away. " _Work our tails off everyday_ -" He swung his tail like Ladybug swung her yoyo. Ladybug rolled her eyes and jumped past him back at the akumatized man. " _Gotta bump the competition, blow them all awaaaaay! Caliente! Suave! Yeah we're gonna bop bop bop! Bop to the top! Slip and slide and ride that rhythm!_ " He slid up and down the stage, swaying his hips. The hypnotized crowd joined him in dancing. " _Jump and hop! Hop 'til we drop! And start again…! Zip zap zop! Flop like a mop! Scoot around the corner_ ," he turned in a circle, gyrating his hips (possibly especially for his Lady). " _Move it to the grove, 'til the music stops! Do the bop bop bop, to the top! Don't ever stop! Bop to the top! Gimme gimme, shimmy shimmy,_ " Chat shook his chest, if he had boobs it would be very sexy (if he did say so himself). " _Shake some booty and turn around,_ " he and the audience did as the song said flamboyantly.

" _Flash a smile in their di-rection!_ " He grinned at Ladybug who caught his eyes and smiled back at him. " _Show some muscle!_ " He tensed his leather covered bicep, " _do the hustle! Yeah we're gonna bop bop bop! Bop to the top! Wipe away your inhibitions,_ " he slid across the stage and the crowd mimicked him. " _Stump stump stump! Do the rump! And strut your stuff!_ " Chat strutted down the stage and struck a pose before continuing. " _Bop bop bop! Straight to the top! Goin' for the glory! We'll keep stepping up and we just won't stop! Stoooop! 'Til we reach the top! Bop to the top!_ " He swung his head back and forth, finishing with a flourish.

And on cue Ladybug grabbed the Singer's top hat and ripped it in half. The akuma fluttered out of the hat and Ladybug swung her yoyo. "I'm freeing your from evil!" She shouted capturing the akuma inside her yoyo. She clicked it afterwards, it opened and the white butterfly flitted out and up. She looked up after it, her large blue eyes wide happily. "Bye bye little butterfly!" She grabbed the Lucky Charm she'd used (one of those plastic-grabbing things) and threw it into the air. Chat Noir couldn't do anything but watch as she did her thing.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" He watched as ladybugs flew from the exploded Lucky Charm and redid everything.

The Singer turned back into his regular self- "where am I?"

The bystanders shook themselves from the daze of the akuma magic. Questions were murmured and Chat Noir dropped the microphone and strutted up to his Lady. "Pound it!"

"What's happening?"

"You're going to be fine, sir." Ladybug addressed him. She turned to Chat. "I didn't know you could sing."

Chat grinned. "I'd love for you to get to know me better. Over dinner maybe?"

"In your dreams Chat."

"In my dreams, my lady, we're not doing much talking." He wiggled his eyebrows and he could definitely see Ladybug blush. Her earrings beeped.

"You have to go." Chat Noir said.

Ladybug touched her earrings. "Oh, yeah." She started to walk away and stopped, turning on her heel. "But before I go, I have to ask, why High School Musical?" She asked.

Chat grinned. "At the end the guy gets the girl."

* * *

 **Help me I can't get over Chat Noir singing Bop To The Top!**

 **~ Diana**


End file.
